Happy Rant

I'm not sure why I choose to make "Happy" conditional? 

There are particular things in this life that I refuse to get over and I'm not even positive as to why. What's in the past is in the past right? If only it were that easy for me damn it! 

I sit and ponder, rationalize and make logic towards my crazy haha you'd think that I'd be able to get over things as I am a very logical and intelligent (so I like to believe) person. 

Well hell, we all have our bad days and today "bad" has reared it's UGLY head. 

Tomorrow is new, I CHOOSE new, and I will choose and WILL it good :) 

Nighty night.. 

Androphobia +Traumatophobia + Mythophobia

What are these you ask??? Mmmmm well this is the Fear of Men added with the Fear of Injury,  then lastly the Fear of Lying. Add them all together and my fear is of Men Lying about Injury!

I believe I am developing a few phobias thanks to the men I have dated throughout my life, while reflecting upon a few things on my EXTREMELY long drive home from work, I've discovered some TRENDS.

I would like to share with you a list of Medical excuses I have received throughout the years as to why someone has left, stopped talking to me, or decided to ignore for an extended period of time. Oh and I'm sure the list will continue to grow, these will be listed with the earliest of excuses received at a younger age.

*Cancer (The man is fine now, married with children)
*Gout
*Scarlet Fervor (Yes I said Scarlet Fervor!) PS this was given twice by two separate men!
*Seizure which apparently caused Multiple personalities (So he claims)
*Pedophobia- Fear of children (Okay I may exaggerate a little, but the fear of my child)
*Blood Clot which moved to lungs (May have caused death, who knows at this point)
*Circumcision (WTF kind of excuse is this!) (I get that you didn't like the Snip Snip but damn I'm sure it still works)

I may sound as if I am a little heartless and completely disregard these medical issues, some which are very serious and I realize this, though as they present themselves one after another I seem to be effected less and less. No longer am I surprised by their answers or even believe them, I'm just learning that its something men do to get out of talking to me. Which brings me to the question, am I repulsive? So repulsive that I they cant stand to tell me the truth, they just have to lie and run away?

No matter, at this point, I'm pretty sure I will have a hard time believing anything regarding Medical excuses. You'd have better luck telling me your damn dog ate your homework... Blah Blah Blah

PS I received a fat lip tonight, this in return means I cant talk to you ever again ;)

Nighty Night.......................................................................................................................................

Her Maze

1. 2. 3. 4. 
The flys fall to the ground. 
Within the house with sectioned rooms, kept locked away, no sound.
Each room is filled with empty space,  void of all, yet still are bound. 
With each count, another made, a wall built to surround.

A maze so large, long and confused. Not all will be discovered.
Through Each step, through each room, a ruin is uncovered. 

The walls when torn, are bound to crush, whoever enters here.
They fall atop the open wounds, forcing you to tear. 
Slow, steady, not quick to recover.
A mind  can hardly whithstand...
Withstand the thought of such empty rooms, where the darkness covers so grand.        

Shatter

She sits alone in a cold dark room. 
When will she be able to break from the doom? 
Her eyes are heavy her legs are week. 
She can't seem to reach her peak! 

All she wants is to leave this space to run free in a familiar place. 
Heart is pounding, stomach will drop but only when put on the spot. 
The walls are closing, all must stop, only when the clock is dropped. 
The paper in hand, the words are there, but no one will ever see the ink it bares. 

The mask she bares is wearing thin, the layers will no longer hide. 
Its colors, they fade and wash away with all the coming tide. 

As the brush of life grows brittle and thin, the letters on white don't matter. 
Her words and thoughts crumble away, with sadness brings the shatter.